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Tarzan
the Ape Man: (1980) Shining stars like Miles O’Keefe may hold
title roles in this remake, but Bo Derek steals the show that was filmed
for her in this John Derek opus of smut. As intended, you forget
that even the elephants are in this movie, watching intently through scene
after scene for each strategically placed wet-blouse shot. Eventually
Bo, as Jane, gets captured by natives, stripped (off camera), washed and
painted (on camera, mostly) and generally prepared for copulation with
the big cheese native Mohawk guy. Tarzan saves the day, of course,
and the tease-fest that is Tarzan of the 80’s ends on a naked beastiality
note. Final tally of animals that touch Bo in her flicks (mostly
this one): 1 Lion, 5 horses, 1 orang, 1 snake, 1 elephant, 2 dogs, 1 chimp,
1 Richard Harris
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