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Mindwarp:
(1991) In the future, we’ve all blown ourselves up and now the survivors
are either living in a utopia where you spend all day plugged in to a virtual
reality program or you’re a mutant cannibal in Alaska. Judy doesn’t
know that the outside world, Alaska, is so bad, thus she questions the
systems she lives in, hoping desperately for something ‘real’. The
systems operator chucks her outside, proving once again ‘be careful what
you ask for’. She’s quickly captured by a roving pair of C.H.U.D.s
driving around on a John Deere, but is rescued by Stover (Bruce F’ing Campbell!!).
He soon befriends and devirginizes her, only to be attacked by more mutants
who take the pair down to Morlocksville. Bruce is quickly put to
work digging for spare parts (why don’t they just eat him?) while Judy
is taken to the local nurse’s handmaid, the young and fairly silent Claude
(human girls get bad names in CHUDtown). Claude snags a belt
round Judy’s neck, and when we next cut to Judy, she’s been stripped down
to her underwear, presumably by Claude, and strapped into rather convenient
cot-turned-suspended- mating-platform. The mutant who caught her
drools, finally able to have his way with her, now that she’s been properly
prepared. But the whole thing is interrupted by Cornelia, an attractive
(if psychotic) blonde who would rather kill off Judy than let the local
CHUDleader (Angus Scrimm Of Phantasm fame) find out what a hot babe
has been brought downtown. Lots of gore, no nudity… I’m sorry, Fangoria
magazine (producers of this flick) but a decent sci-fi storyline and Bruce
Campbell puking out brain-leeches is no excuse for a total lack of on-screen
sex antics when you cast a babe like this… Maybe next time.
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