King Kong:  (1976 remake)  Talk about your bloody sexual frustration, mates!  This one’s got it all.  Dwan, blonde bimbo extraordinaire, is being married to Kong, a giant 50 foot bloody ape who’s not seen a female of his species in bugger-all knows how long.  She is not amused.  Despite the “Kong feels her up and attempts to reveal the goodies (to little avail)” scene, this after several other teasing wet-linen type shots, my lament is still quite palpable.  The movie’s ape antics begin when Dwan is kidnapped by the Kong-god revering island natives, drugged while in shorts and a T-shirt, then she is suddenly thrust forth by chieftains onto the alter in a native wedding gown.  Convenient.  I was native ape-boy # 1 here.  Goodness lads, what you missed…  Sigh, all this and NO ONE gets off.
What's it do when you press HERE...?'s so... BIG...

REBUTTAL: The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck.  Playboy model Kathy Shower gets captured by natives along with our heroes in bad 80’s b-flick.   She’s drugged, her naked bod held down and well-oiled by native women (I was exempt from this scene (DAMN!), but at least I coached… cough cough, yeah…) and given over to chieftain as a toy for the evening.  She has little fight left in her after the head of her hubby is tossed in as a gift for her.  Poor girl.
Oh to be reincarnated as baby oil...
Oh yeah, she's fighting desperately against her captors.



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