Wars – Return of the Jedi: (80’s) Truly the lament of every
fan-boy alive, my friends. Tell me you didn't want to see this
"sacrificial virgin preparation" scene: Princess Leia, captured by Jabba
the slobbering Hutt. Nearly spunked on by Jabba’s tongue (tongue
portrayed by some lucky midget employed by Lucasfilm). Experiences
Costume Change and becomes “Sexy metal-bikini-clad spacebabe slave-girl
of a galaxy far far away…!!” Is told, “Soon you will learn to appreciate
me, Leia” by Jabba as we get gratuitous barely-clad midriff and back shots.
She doesn’t dig bondage, though. Sadly, she chokes him to death and
we all sit round blue-balled. Lovely. Thanks for jack shit,
George! For more Leia Bikini shots, go HERE.
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2002 M&V/Scott P Vaughn
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