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Star
Wars – Return of the Jedi: (80’s) Truly the lament of every
fan-boy alive, my friends. Tell me you didn't want to see this
"sacrificial virgin preparation" scene: Princess Leia, captured by Jabba
the slobbering Hutt. Nearly spunked on by Jabba’s tongue (tongue
portrayed by some lucky midget employed by Lucasfilm). Experiences
Spontaneous
Costume Change and becomes “Sexy metal-bikini-clad spacebabe slave-girl
of a galaxy far far away…!!” Is told, “Soon you will learn to appreciate
me, Leia” by Jabba as we get gratuitous barely-clad midriff and back shots.
She doesn’t dig bondage, though. Sadly, she chokes him to death and
we all sit round blue-balled. Lovely. Thanks for jack shit,
George! For more Leia Bikini shots, go HERE.
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