Big Trouble in Little China:  (1986)  John Carpenterís ode to kung fu flicks contains a double lament, my fellow henchmen.  What can it mean?  Two girls with green eyes?  Well, both Kim Cattrall and an oriental beauty (Suzee Pai) are catured by Lo Pan and his minions (uhh, Iím in thereÖ guy with the saiÖ ya canít miss me).  Kimís character is chained to the floor of a dank dungeon by a hairy beast, discovered by Lo Pan to be a possible future bride alternative (you can never be too sure with those green-eyed chicks), and placed under his spell.  When next we see our lovely, she and Suzee Pai  are both the apparent victims of Spontaneous Costume Change.  Now youíre intelligent movie-goers, my friends.  Do YOU sípose they just volunteered under hypnosis to put on those eastern wedding gowns that require about six people to wrap around one girl?  Me neither.
kick ass Drew Struzan art...



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