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Beastmaster:
(1982) I can’t believe I missed this one. I must be getting
old. That, or I’ve seen this flick a billion times and therefore
overlooked the obvious. What is obvious, my lads, is the deliciously
despicable nature of the implied, or mis-thought, off-camera action in
a scene near the end of Beastmaster, a cult fave sword and sandal fantasy
film. Kiri (Tanya Roberts) has been captured – again- by Maax (Rip
Torn!), local boondaloogoo of all things evil and sacrificial. When
last seen, Kiri was wearing the height of fashion (next to nothing, with
some very nice leather wrapped around her middle for a nice ‘bronze age’
touch). Beastmaster (Marc Singer) later hears that the good guys
have been captured for obligatory sacrifice and he rides to their rescue.
Kiri, meanwhile, is being readied for said ceremony, now wearing a long
robe and collar. Bald henchmen manhandle her, ripping the robe away
to reveal the rags of a slave beneath before carrying her to her apparent
doom. Looks to me like some fun has been missed in the interim, hmm?
Either that, or the henchmen simply picked those rags out for her and kindly
asked her to change before the morning rituals. You never know, they
could have been nice guys like that, trained at local Flintstone-style
Victoria-rock’s Secrets to let the girls use the changing rooms for some
privacy.
Riiiiiight…
BEFORE
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AFTER
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Gratuitous breast shot
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