Beastmaster: (1982)  I can’t believe I missed this one.  I must be getting old.  That, or I’ve seen this flick a billion times and therefore overlooked the obvious.  What is obvious, my lads, is the deliciously despicable nature of the implied, or mis-thought, off-camera action in a scene near the end of Beastmaster, a cult fave sword and sandal fantasy film.  Kiri (Tanya Roberts) has been captured – again- by Maax (Rip Torn!), local boondaloogoo of all things evil and sacrificial.  When last seen, Kiri was wearing the height of fashion (next to nothing, with some very nice leather wrapped around her middle for a nice ‘bronze age’ touch).  Beastmaster (Marc Singer) later hears that the good guys have been captured for obligatory sacrifice and he rides to their rescue.  Kiri, meanwhile, is being readied for said ceremony, now wearing a long robe and collar.  Bald henchmen manhandle her, ripping the robe away to reveal the rags of a slave beneath before carrying her to her apparent doom.  Looks to me like some fun has been missed in the interim, hmm?  Either that, or the henchmen simply picked those rags out for her and kindly asked her to change before the morning rituals.  You never know, they could have been nice guys like that, trained at local Flintstone-style Victoria-rock’s Secrets to let the girls use the changing rooms for some privacy.
Note the shortness of the shammy leather, effectively showing leg
 Ready? One, two, STRIP!  I see London, I see France!     CLICK ME!

Weren't my clothes on the shore there, next to my career?
Gratuitous breast shot




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